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My believing is dependent on His knowing

     The thought struck me today that if I stopped and looked at my life from a logical standpoint that I probably would hate God. That raised the question why don't I hate God and the other side is does God hate me. You say how could you think like that, but I think we all have those thoughts from time to time if we would just be honest. Back to the question. I look at my life here in this earth and I see that pretty much all of my dreams have not come to fruition. From a worldly viewpoint failure is written all over me. I'm not even close to having the American dream. Failure after failure and yet here I am and I don't hate God, God who is in control of this thing that looks like one big mess. That really blows my mind when I stop and think about it. My life is a big mess, my friends lives are all big messes so what gives. You say "my life is not a mess", well tell me every rotten thing about yourself that no one else knows and then tell me it isn't. Here I am and I love God and can say from the bottom of my toes that He is good. Strange isn't it? What's funny is that I know the answer but it makes it no less strange. It all comes back to something as small as a mustard seed. The substance of things hoped for. The voice of faith, and when I say voice I'm not talking about my voice proclaiming all of this in the face of what I see but that still small voice on the inside. The one that keeps whispering "this is a vapor, all that you see is a vapor. What you can't see is what is real" and it continually reminds me of what is true, and who God is, and what He has made me. All this mess is nothing but a vapor, a mist to be blown away by the wind. When it comes down to it faith is not about moving mountains but seeing that there is no mountain, it's just a vapor. I'm glad that faith is a gift from God and not something I have to create on my own. If it were up to me then what I see would kill my effort to believe every time. My believing is dependent on His knowing. What I mean by that is that I believe and have faith on the outside because He knows and lives on the inside. Christ in me the hope of glory. The faith that I have is simply God's glory that Christ gave me manifesting it's self in this mortal body.

John 17:22-23
22"And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: 23"I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.

His life spilling out and blowing the vapor away until the fullness of time has come. Selah

I hope you have enjoyed reading my thoughts from today. I have a strange mind don't I.
Jaytee

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